1 00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:26,000 -Look at past episodes. It's not hard for you. 2 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:27,520 -Dad? -What the fuck? 3 00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:29,920 -It's cold in the garage and there's no TV. 4 00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:31,720 -Hello. -The chewy mole! 5 00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:36,680 -What, is Anton a cop? -But his job is legal, 6 00:00:36,680 --> 00:00:40,280 and we had a great time. I feel good, just lie down. 7 00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:42,880 -The cars I drive, aren't mine. 8 00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:45,320 I steal them first, and then I sell them. 9 00:00:45,320 --> 00:00:46,760 Shall we go for a ride? 10 00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:51,760 -Become my wife. -I agree. 11 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:53,160 RAPTUROUS SHOUTS 12 00:00:53,160 --> 00:00:55,080 -You don't look like a guy, 13 00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:58,240 who's got the best bride bride of the neighborhood. 14 00:00:58,240 --> 00:00:59,920 -Briefly, I'm already married. 15 00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:09,520 -I didn't even think about getting married until he proposed. 16 00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:10,720 -A screwdriver. 17 00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:13,600 -And now I'm obsessed with the wedding. 18 00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:18,200 -Listen, well, do you really want to tell your kids about 19 00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:22,680 that their daddy proposed to you to propose to you drunk as a skunk, huh? 20 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:24,040 SIGH 21 00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:30,200 -My man proposed to me at the Eiffel Tower. 22 00:01:30,200 --> 00:01:32,040 With flowers and champagne. 23 00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:34,960 And then at the wedding, he fucked my my sister. 24 00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:36,720 He said he was confused. 25 00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:40,200 -What's the moral? -My sister's a bitch. -My sister's a bitch. 26 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:44,400 Stingy. 27 00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:53,720 -Okay, well, other than the party and the presents, name me at least three, at least three. 28 00:01:53,720 --> 00:01:57,320 normal reasons for this wedding of yours. wedding, huh? 29 00:01:57,320 --> 00:01:59,200 -А... well... 30 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:00,680 -А... Well? 31 00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:07,160 -I want to spend the rest of my life with him. -Ksyugh, you and Drone are doing great. 32 00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:10,720 It's perfect. I mean, why ruin it anyway? 33 00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:21,360 -Let's go, let's go, let's develop the arm, Work it out. 34 00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:29,280 -Listen, which hand do you use? -Both hands. 35 00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:38,960 -Colleague, I see you come here like you're going to work. 36 00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:42,320 Raised much? Did you get 50,000 out of it? 37 00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:46,960 I know, I know. You're saving your strength. Just nod. 38 00:02:47,640 --> 00:02:53,160 -I'm not in it for the money. It's just my civic-minded. 39 00:02:53,160 --> 00:03:00,200 -Ah, I respect that. But you still take care yourself. One mosquito and you're dead. 40 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:02,440 -Gruzdev? Come on in. 41 00:03:03,640 --> 00:03:06,640 -Oh, yeah, you donated your body for organs already? 42 00:03:06,640 --> 00:03:08,360 Don't take too long. 43 00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:11,880 Hello. 44 00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:19,120 -Drone? 45 00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:22,840 -Are you done yet? 46 00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:25,160 -Why are we getting married? -What? 47 00:03:25,160 --> 00:03:28,280 -Well, aside from the drinking and the gifts, can you name 48 00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:30,480 at least three reasons for getting married? 49 00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:32,640 -No. 50 00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:40,680 Look, isn't this one one of those lady tests? 51 00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:43,720 You know, like, I'm supposed like I'm supposed to talk to you? 52 00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:47,120 -If this were a test, you wouldn't have passed it by now. 53 00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:51,880 -That's right. So you're saying you don't want to marry me? 54 00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:53,200 -That's not the point. 55 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:56,120 We're doing fine. Why ruin it? 56 00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:58,640 -Cool. 57 00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:01,600 -And I still don't see a food processor I still don't see it. 58 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:03,480 LAUGHTER 59 00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:07,720 Look, is there any way that we can get presents somehow, 60 00:04:07,720 --> 00:04:10,120 and not have a wedding, huh? 61 00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:14,360 -I got a little present for you. 62 00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:18,400 LAUGHTER 63 00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:24,120 -Maybe first the money, and then the exam? 64 00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:28,360 -Tongue out. A voice. 65 00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:29,760 -Ah-ah. -Next. 66 00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:30,840 -Ah-ah. 67 00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:34,560 -For the first time in my life. to make an honest living? 68 00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:37,440 -This is my conscious civic position. 69 00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:41,640 -Take off your pants, citizen. -Are you going to draw blood from there? 70 00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:46,880 -Joker. I'm gonna check your junk to see if you've got a bad disease. 71 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:50,520 Take it off, sailor. 72 00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:53,160 SIGH 73 00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:56,960 Come on, have fun. 74 00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:04,560 -Oh, they're cold. They're hiding now. 75 00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:06,560 -Cough it up. 76 00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:07,600 CACHEL 77 00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:09,600 More. 78 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:12,160 CACHEL 79 00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:16,640 That's weird. Have you ever had your testicles ever had your testicles examined? 80 00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:21,080 -No way. I never trusted any doctor I never trusted any doctor. 81 00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:23,760 -Well, that's the problem. 82 00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:26,920 There should be two bogeymen in this case. there must be two. 83 00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:28,120 -I'm a unicum. 84 00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:34,440 -Here you go, unicum. Come back tomorrow for the biopsy tomorrow with your eggs. 85 00:05:34,440 --> 00:05:37,920 -What the fuck for? The third one is my lucky charm. 86 00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:40,080 I've made so many babies with them. 87 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:42,120 -Well, maybe it's harmless. 88 00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:46,280 You're supposed to be smart enough not to worry about anything until the biopsy. to worry about anything. 89 00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:49,760 Dismissed. 90 00:05:56,080 --> 00:05:57,680 Next. 91 00:05:57,680 --> 00:06:01,080 -Ksyuha, Drone! Get down here quickly! 92 00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:02,920 Come here! 93 00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:08,320 -Surprise! 94 00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:11,120 -Mom? -From Odessa. 95 00:06:11,840 --> 00:06:13,120 LAUGHTER 96 00:06:13,120 --> 00:06:15,840 -Nadezhda Vasilyevna. -Call me Mom. 97 00:06:15,840 --> 00:06:20,240 Xanushka! Why are you so thin, as not my daughter? 98 00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:22,680 CHOICES 99 00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:25,560 -Mom, didn't Galya Didn't Galya tell you anything? 100 00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:31,560 -Said it, said it all. My Donya... is getting married. I can't believe it! 101 00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:34,840 I can't believe it! How can there not be a wedding?! 102 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:38,160 -Well, Mom, we... Drone and I have been thinking, 103 00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:40,640 what's the point of spending so much money? 104 00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:42,520 We already love each other. 105 00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:45,680 -They thought. Did you think of me? 106 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:48,440 I didn't do Victor Fyodorovich for nothing? 107 00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:51,400 -It won't go away, Mom. -Don't call me that. 108 00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:06,000 All right, it's your business. But no wedding. no gift from daddy. 109 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:09,920 -From Dad? -What kind of gift? 110 00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:11,400 -Money. -How much? 111 00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:15,600 -Much. He gave his little girl to the house. 112 00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:19,720 Wants her to have to have her own nest. 113 00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:22,720 -And he didn't specify which daughter he gave it to? 114 00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:26,120 -No. -Said only to give the gift after the wedding. 115 00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:29,840 -That's it! -It's actually my dad. 116 00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:33,440 And if that's what Daddy of course, that's what he wants, then... 117 00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:36,320 There's going to be a wedding. Right, Drone? 118 00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:40,640 -It's hot, isn't it? Aren't you hot? No? Aren't you hot? 119 00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:44,120 -Mammy, let's go upstairs and I'll show you how we live. 120 00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:47,560 -Yeah, go ahead, I'll clean it up. -Are you warm enough? -Yeah. 121 00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:49,080 -No, it's not hot. 122 00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:51,840 -Right... 123 00:07:57,040 --> 00:07:58,400 KNOCKING ON THE DOOR 124 00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:00,040 -I'm coming! 125 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:09,400 Hi. 126 00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:11,240 -Hi. Here's a fresh one. 127 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:12,800 -Here, same thing. 128 00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:15,960 -Thank you, you have no idea how helpful you are. 129 00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:20,640 -I imagine. You're gonna keep smoking the dope, the tests won't show anything, 130 00:08:20,640 --> 00:08:23,680 and I'll have the food. -Thank you, darling. Bye. 131 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:26,160 -Children! -There's food in the house! 132 00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:31,800 Dinner! -Go, go, go, go! 133 00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:34,640 Move your flippers! Come on, come on! 134 00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:39,680 -What, more food in exchange for tests? -What do you care? Eat your food. 135 00:08:39,680 --> 00:08:42,920 -Who's on the dishes? There's nothing to eat! -I'll wash it later. 136 00:08:42,920 --> 00:08:44,000 -See me. 137 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:46,560 -Chris, are we going to the supermarket? -Sure. 138 00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:48,880 -Why? -Help me buy some lights 139 00:08:48,880 --> 00:08:52,760 for the wedding to get the hall ready. -The wedding wasn't canceled? 140 00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:55,400 -We've been overplaying our hand. Mom's already here. 141 00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:57,640 We'll have to get married. -Drone knows? 142 00:08:57,640 --> 00:08:59,360 -Well, of course. 143 00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:12,320 -Yeah, hold it right there. Freeze, I said. 144 00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:14,160 Is Xue gone? -Yeah. 145 00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:16,960 -Why haven't you told me yet you're married? 146 00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:20,400 -I'm afraid. No, I mean, what if she when she finds out? 147 00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:23,760 Then, you know, she has a southern temperament. 148 00:09:23,760 --> 00:09:28,240 -Tell her. Do you understand that she's getting ready to get married? Or are you? 149 00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:30,760 All right, listen to me carefully, 150 00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:33,760 either you do it yourself, or I will. 151 00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:45,320 MICROWAVE SOUND 152 00:09:56,720 --> 00:09:59,760 -Testicular cancer is kind of like noodles, isn't it? 153 00:10:01,560 --> 00:10:04,760 -Maybe I have a benign cyst. 154 00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:09,200 -Of course, darling. You're gonna be okay. 155 00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:13,600 -Elya, why are you crying? -I knew it. -I knew it. 156 00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:17,960 Everything that's beautiful in this life is not for me, because you're going to die. 157 00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:21,960 -No, I'm not going to die. -I'm not going to die, I'm not gonna die. I have a cyst. 158 00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:24,920 -Certainly. I've got two places in the cemetery. 159 00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:28,280 In Nizhny Mamonovo. One was supposed to be for Lenya. 160 00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:33,240 I would be so happy if you were buried in one of these plots. 161 00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:34,560 And wait for me there. 162 00:10:34,560 --> 00:10:37,320 -Yeah. Am I really I'm really gonna die? 163 00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:38,400 -Yes. 164 00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:41,480 WASHLIPS 165 00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:43,520 You eat, eat. 166 00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:46,840 PLACE 167 00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:54,680 -Drone, can you believe it, one of these one of these things costs 120 rubles. 168 00:10:54,680 --> 00:10:59,560 And we need ten of these. Well, don't worry, I bought 169 00:10:59,560 --> 00:11:02,840 for a sample. Chris can draw us one. А? 170 00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:06,840 -Are you still here? -Where else are we supposed to be? 171 00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:10,800 The tavern doesn't open for another hour. -You should be at the registry office. 172 00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:14,360 I got a pregnancy certificate I got it. They'll sign it in three days. 173 00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:17,880 If you go to the registry office, you can get better timing. 174 00:11:17,880 --> 00:11:21,360 We'll make it tonight. Let's go, groom. 175 00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:26,040 By the way, bring your passport, too, I've never seen it. 176 00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:28,040 At least show me a picture. 177 00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:29,280 What are you doing? 178 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:31,440 -Tzigel, zigel, well? 179 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:34,240 -Oksana, I can't marry you. 180 00:11:37,680 --> 00:11:39,000 -Why is that? 181 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:41,520 -What do you think you're doing, you bastard? 182 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:46,320 -I can't get married because I'm already married. 183 00:11:50,560 --> 00:11:55,080 -So, I'm gonna go get a drink of water. 184 00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:07,040 -Cute. And you're a total jerk with that haircut. 185 00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:10,840 -You have no idea how many times I've wanted you 186 00:12:10,840 --> 00:12:15,040 to confess everything. And the more he pissed, the more he pissed. 187 00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:20,320 -What kind of love was that? 188 00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:27,400 -You wouldn't wish it on anyone. We've known each other since we were kids. 189 00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:29,680 Well, married at 18. 190 00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:35,920 Well, she seemed normal at first. and then she went off the rails: 191 00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:38,400 throwing plates at me. 192 00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:40,400 -It's a shame about the house. 193 00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:43,120 -Yeah. -Now Gala gets it. 194 00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:47,560 -Listen, why don't we just get married, huh? 195 00:12:47,560 --> 00:12:51,280 We'll make a deal at the registry office, and we'll kind of get married. 196 00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:54,360 And we're kind of getting married. 197 00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:59,000 I don't care if it's not real. My mom won't know. 198 00:13:00,560 --> 00:13:02,680 -So you're not breaking up with me? 199 00:13:03,680 --> 00:13:05,480 -Dropping out? 200 00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:08,840 Not gonna happen. 201 00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:22,400 -There's a sweater, shirts. I don't know, I don't think I put enough socks in, do I? 202 00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:24,520 -That's enough. -There's cutlets. 203 00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:26,200 -Hi. -Hi. 204 00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:29,200 -Great. -The testicles, the testicles, just eat them right away, 205 00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:32,040 or they'll go rotten. Okay, look, there's a chicken. 206 00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:35,800 Chicken. We can have the chicken tomorrow. All right, come on, run along, 207 00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:39,440 or you'll be late. Scarf! Keep your scarf on, You've got a throat. 208 00:13:39,440 --> 00:13:41,400 Well, what are you What are you doing, huh? 209 00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:44,480 -That's enough, that's enough. I'm going. -Come on. Wrap it up. 210 00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:45,480 -That's it. -Come on. 211 00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:46,480 KISS 212 00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:48,040 Come back soon. 213 00:13:48,040 --> 00:13:50,440 -It's the day after tomorrow. -Okay. 214 00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:53,440 -You keep an eye on things. Yurets, you keep an eye on things. 215 00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:56,120 -Call me when you get there. -Happy! 216 00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:01,680 -Finally gone. 217 00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:08,600 So, tonight's the night we'll be together all night. 218 00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:13,880 -We thought of everything. -Elegant combination. 219 00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:17,680 -You come to us with your book. -Registration of marriages. 220 00:14:17,680 --> 00:14:20,680 -We'll sign in pencil. -And you sign with a stylus... 221 00:14:20,680 --> 00:14:23,880 -There's gonna be a signing, and it's not like there won't be one. -Mama's happy. 222 00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:26,440 -The guests, too. -And you're not empty-handed. 223 00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:27,560 -Do we have a deal? 224 00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:33,800 -Dear honeymooners, go to... 225 00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:35,560 PHONE CALL 226 00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:37,960 PHONE CALL 227 00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:48,680 -So, Sergei has five oranges less than Kolya's, 228 00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:52,760 and Kolya has twice as many than Dima, who only has three. 229 00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:56,080 And why can't you solve such a simple task? 230 00:14:56,080 --> 00:14:59,480 -Because we don't have any oranges for the sake of clarity. 231 00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:01,760 -knock-knock-knock. May I? -Hi! 232 00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:04,720 -Hi. I got you a little something for the wedding. 233 00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:06,840 -Get over here. -We got somebody 234 00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:08,720 with sanctioned products. 235 00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:09,880 -Class. 236 00:15:10,480 --> 00:15:16,360 -Katya, I have a case for you. Dron and Oksana and Oksana invited me to their wedding. 237 00:15:16,360 --> 00:15:17,480 So... 238 00:15:17,480 --> 00:15:19,600 -So what do you think? Give me the money. 239 00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:22,000 You solve the problem. then the sausage. That's it. 240 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:26,800 -Yeah, no. I was gonna ask you to come with me to pick out a suit. 241 00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:29,520 Cause I've been in uniform for five years. 242 00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:32,440 -Look, Tosh, I'm sorry, but I can't. 243 00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:35,200 Well, Oksana needs help. And I have the kids. 244 00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:36,320 -Ah, well... 245 00:15:36,320 --> 00:15:38,200 -I'm sorry. -It's pathetic. 246 00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:43,400 And if there's anything else I confiscate, I'll bring it back. 247 00:15:43,960 --> 00:15:46,400 -Thank you, we look forward to seeing you. 248 00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:47,600 -Happy. -Bye! 249 00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:49,760 -Bye! -Look at all this wealth. 250 00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:50,880 -Cool! -Great. 251 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:55,280 -Oh, my... 252 00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:57,680 -Hold it! Get her! -Moyo! 253 00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:02,000 -$15,000 to pronounce us man and wife. and wife? 254 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:06,480 -That's a hell of a fee. -It's not a fee. -It's not a dime, it's a fee. 255 00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:11,640 -It's a ten-minute job. We came in, we did the schedule. 256 00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:15,960 -What kind of amateurish approach is that? What about the makeup? What about the wig with the fleece? 257 00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:19,440 Again, you have to get into character. What did you say? 258 00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:23,000 It's all supposed to be going well? And for my mom to believe it. 259 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:26,440 -We understand, of course, but we only have five. 260 00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:28,400 -And a bottle of Armenian. -Yeah. 261 00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:33,360 -You young man, you and I are serious people. What Armenian? 262 00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:36,600 I don't drink at all. Fifteen, not a penny less. 263 00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:38,520 -Seven. -When's the wedding? 264 00:16:38,520 --> 00:16:40,000 -Saturday. 265 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:46,040 -That's it. At 10:00, I have the premiere of "Carlson," 1:00 of "Chunga Chunga." 266 00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:49,440 from the governor's son. You're in luck. 267 00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:53,240 At 3:00, I could be your aunt from the registry office. 268 00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:55,280 -Artemone to the stage. 269 00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:03,480 -Oh, by the way, we're having "they're giving away the Golden Key. 270 00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:05,600 I can put you in the hall. 271 00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:08,120 -Can I? -No, thank you. -No, thank you. 272 00:17:08,120 --> 00:17:10,880 We weren't counting on tonight. -Whatever you want. 273 00:17:14,040 --> 00:17:15,480 LAY 274 00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:19,800 -Are you out of your mind? Do we have a lot of money? 275 00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:22,880 -Wedding is a business. You have to invest first, 276 00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:26,960 then we'll save some money. -I'm not about to drink my guests 277 00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:28,200 with vodka. 278 00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:31,440 -Well, I don't have another one. 279 00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:43,680 -I ordered a cake from Moscow. I'll bring it to the banquet. 280 00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:46,880 -Great. Maybe you could give this car to Drone and Oksana? 281 00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:50,800 They'd go for a ride after the wedding. -Just so they don't get laid. 282 00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:53,760 Cause I got to get her clean. -Didn't get laid? 283 00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:54,880 -Yeah. -Anything at all? 284 00:17:54,880 --> 00:17:57,200 LAUGHTER 285 00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:59,720 -Katya, I'm driving. 286 00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:03,880 -Ella, I don't want to get your hopes up, but if I may, 287 00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:06,960 to make it even remotely similar like Vera Wang. 288 00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:09,800 -Who's Vera? Don't worry about it. 289 00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:12,960 You are going to make an adorable bride. 290 00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:15,680 -I'm just like Cinderella. 291 00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:20,400 -No, fuck that Cinderella. The little bitch who's been 292 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:24,960 ...has been cramming all the women's brains out since they were kids. Worst role model ever. 293 00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:28,920 -I like Cinderella. So what if she married well? 294 00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:31,640 -The whole idea of marriage sucks. 295 00:18:31,640 --> 00:18:35,080 -How do you know that? -How do you know that? -I watched one in person. 296 00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:39,720 -One bad example doesn't mean that all other marriages are bad. 297 00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:43,200 -Back in the old days, marriage was a legitimate opportunity 298 00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:46,680 to get the dowry. And right now. it's just a piece of paper. 299 00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:50,440 -So what? The birth certificate is also a piece of paper. 300 00:18:50,440 --> 00:18:53,280 Money is also a piece of paper, only valuable. 301 00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:56,960 -What a little girl, but so clever. Here, Julenka, learn. 302 00:18:56,960 --> 00:19:00,640 -I wonder sometimes what fools you all are with your rose-colored glasses. 303 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:04,120 I'm gonna go put on a gauze bandage, in case I get infected. 304 00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:09,000 -She had a difficult childhood. 305 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,400 -I thought we were getting them a vibrator. 306 00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:14,440 LAUGHTER 307 00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:16,680 -the food processor vibrates, too. 308 00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:19,840 I think Xiu set this whole thing up just for him. 309 00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:22,840 -I hope you're not that conniving. -I'm worse. 310 00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:24,520 -You know what you're gonna wear? 311 00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:27,800 -Well, it's definitely not gonna be white and obviously without a veil. 312 00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:30,480 -Such as this? 313 00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:40,680 Let's go try it on, shall we? 314 00:19:42,120 --> 00:19:44,520 -No. -Well, let's just try it on. 315 00:19:44,520 --> 00:19:47,320 -No. -We'll just measure it. Just... 316 00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:55,200 SONG: I'll wear a puffy tutu. I'll go away, I'll go away with a talented boy. 317 00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:58,120 To a beautiful white cottage. Fooled. 318 00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:07,080 And I'll wear a puffy tutu. I'll go away, I'll go away with a talented boy. 319 00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:12,360 To a beautiful white cottage. Fooled. 320 00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:17,480 Fooled. 321 00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:25,360 This one's great. 322 00:20:25,360 --> 00:20:26,880 -Yeah, and I like it. 323 00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:34,120 -Well, have you picked anything out? 324 00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:37,520 -Yes. -Take care of this. Please. 325 00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:40,840 -Okay. -No one asked you to buy it. 326 00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:42,800 -I'm not going to buy it. 327 00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:45,720 Just don't cut the tag off. We'll bring it back later. 328 00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:46,720 LAUGHTER 329 00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:50,280 -Good for you. 330 00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:57,680 Well, I'm going to have to unzip my dress I have to unzip it myself? 331 00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:06,040 LAUGHTER IN THE FITTING ROOM 332 00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:10,760 -Shouldn't we call security? 333 00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:14,800 -Yeah, for this dress. let them do what they want. 334 00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:16,080 STONES 335 00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:46,560 MUSIC PLAYING 336 00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:48,880 -Hello. Are you Gruzdev? 337 00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:53,040 -For you, just George. 338 00:21:53,040 --> 00:21:56,960 Now that's what I call health care reform. of health care. 339 00:21:56,960 --> 00:22:00,400 Why was I so afraid of doctors before? 340 00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:01,600 -Don't move. 341 00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:02,600 -Yeah. 342 00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:10,840 I'm done. 343 00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:14,560 -And if you're also doing a biopsy like that, that's... 344 00:22:14,560 --> 00:22:17,520 -We have more experienced We have experienced specialists. 345 00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:22,880 -Well, sailor, you ready? 346 00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:27,480 I wish I could tell you that like a mosquito bite... 347 00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:29,880 -No, no, no, no. 348 00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:32,840 SCREAM 349 00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:42,720 -Oh, how about this one? А? You don't like it at all? 350 00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:46,280 -Ksia, I was thinking. Maybe we should wait on the house. 351 00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:49,160 Let's buy this cafe, We'll call it Dron's. 352 00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:54,560 -Yeah, and you're gonna have "whodunnits"? Entrepreneur. Shit! 353 00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:58,680 I'm late for my bachelorette party I'm late for my bachelorette party. 354 00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:01,480 Anyway, take your pick. That's great, Gruzdev. 355 00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:05,080 -Great, great. I'll have 100 in one bowl. 356 00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:07,680 -What, did you take the kids' pocket money took the kids' pocket money? 357 00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:11,120 -I'm not in the mood for jokes, Drone. I'm dying. 358 00:23:11,120 --> 00:23:15,480 -You die every morning. -No, this time it's serious. 359 00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:16,760 Testicular cancer. 360 00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:20,840 My balls have given this life death. 361 00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:23,200 Although if I were them. I'd retaliate, too. 362 00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:26,720 Tucked between my legs, dangling near the hole, panties rubbing. 363 00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:30,120 And when you fuck, you also use them on your asshole. 364 00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:36,720 -this is where we celebrate. 365 00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:41,240 Hello. It's going to be, like in the best houses. 366 00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:43,560 We'll put the tables in a "P" shape. 367 00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:46,920 Let's do a balloon arch here. Get out of here. 368 00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:50,680 And we'll decorate everything with flowers. Well, paper flowers, but flowers. 369 00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:53,680 -Some pigsty. 370 00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:56,600 -It was a decent place a minute ago. a decent place. 371 00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:58,600 -You shut your mouth. That's my mother-in-law. 372 00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:01,640 -I'm sorry. I was luckier with my mother-in-law was luckier with my mother-in-law. 373 00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:04,720 She made a gift and quacked before the wedding. 374 00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:09,200 -Well, there's a contingent here. Come on, Galya. 375 00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:12,760 I hope these faces at the wedding! 376 00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:15,040 -I didn't say anything at all. 377 00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:22,840 -You should rip your tongue out. -You'd better rip my balls out. 378 00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:31,280 I'm going to be wearing in a tie all the time. 379 00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:34,200 I mean, I could quack at any moment. quack. 380 00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:38,520 And in front of an old woman with a scythe. you've got to look comical. 381 00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:40,200 I borrowed this from Leonard. 382 00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:44,760 And when I'm out of the woods, I'll let him take it back. 383 00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:47,240 And you know what the worst part is? 384 00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:50,440 How much I planned, how much I didn't. 385 00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:52,000 -Well, like what? 386 00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:59,320 -What? What? Everything. 387 00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:05,640 That's, that's who's going to continue all the labors of my life. 388 00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:07,360 -As requested. 389 00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:11,280 -And the stripper? -In an hour. 390 00:25:11,280 --> 00:25:13,720 -Are you having a bachelor party or something? 391 00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:20,280 SIGH 392 00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:26,760 -All right, fuck it, stay. 393 00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:28,520 The fun begins. Here you go. 394 00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:29,880 -What's with the skein? 395 00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:33,280 -Wear it. The girls must be out there they're already having the time of their lives. 396 00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:40,440 A quiet song: The summer dawn. How many times spring has come in vain. 397 00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:43,120 In the stars outside the window the evenings floated by. 398 00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:49,640 -Yeah, it's kind of a lame bachelorette party. -Well, I'm sorry. 399 00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:51,760 All the money for the wedding spent. 400 00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:55,160 -Look, come on, we're sitting all right. Come on. 401 00:25:57,280 --> 00:25:58,920 -It's okay. 402 00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:07,600 -Well, it's not like I'm saving it for a funeral. 403 00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:12,320 CHEERS 404 00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:16,920 -So why don't we go to the sauna? -If you're hoping before the wedding 405 00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:19,000 to clean yourself up, it won't work. 406 00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:20,560 -We're going to the clubhouse. 407 00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:22,080 RAPTUROUS SHOUTS 408 00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:27,400 DYNAMIC SONG: Mama, I'm in Dubai. Mama, Mama, I'm in Dubai. 409 00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:30,720 Mom, I'm in Dubai. Mom, Mom, I'm in Dubai. 410 00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:33,040 RAPTUROUS SHOUTS 411 00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:37,720 SING: Mama, I'm in Dubai. Mama, Mama, I'm in Dubai. 412 00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:45,320 -Are you out of your mind?! 413 00:26:52,920 --> 00:26:54,920 SINGER: Let it be known. 414 00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:58,080 The whole thing is cooler than the Pussy Riot punch line, than a Pussy Riot punch line. 415 00:26:58,080 --> 00:27:00,920 Dude's on a Joe Mary, yeah, We're in a pickup truck, yeah! 416 00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:03,920 It's all feng shui, strictly According to the laws of Hamurappi. 417 00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:06,800 Selfies, selfies, selfies, selfies, Black pandora. 418 00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:09,840 Sheiks, sheiks, sheiks, White gandora. 419 00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:13,440 Dangerous beast in the desert. Yeah, don't wake the mastiff in me. 420 00:27:13,440 --> 00:27:17,120 You're at 5:30, I've got the Burj Khalifa. 421 00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:22,680 I don't chase someone or something. I am not chasing a trend, a patent. 422 00:27:22,680 --> 00:27:26,040 -Beatles don't like -shit. Shit in English. 423 00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:28,200 But Led Zeppelin is the good stuff. 424 00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:29,200 VISION 425 00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:35,320 LAUGHTER 426 00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:38,400 I'm a hell of a guy. 427 00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:41,880 Right now, I'm just getting off work a little dirty, tattered. 428 00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:46,480 You look good without your clothes on. 429 00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:53,480 LAUGHTER 430 00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:55,400 What a boozefest. 431 00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:58,560 Drone, I also got married for a bachelor party. 432 00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:01,920 I'm imagining us partying at your wedding. 433 00:28:01,920 --> 00:28:05,000 -Will you live? I thought you were going to die. 434 00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:14,600 -What kind of person are you? 435 00:28:19,120 --> 00:28:22,200 -Mama, I'm in Dubai! -I'm in Dubai, Mama, Mama! 436 00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:25,360 LAUGHTER 437 00:28:25,360 --> 00:28:29,320 -I don't understand why you turned down a free striptease? 438 00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:33,320 -Yes, because the administrator offered to do the dance himself. 439 00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:36,200 -That's what I'm saying, a nice man. 440 00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:40,040 -Gosh, what are you doing, huh? 441 00:28:40,040 --> 00:28:43,040 -I got three balls, and I'm about to die. 442 00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:45,960 HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER 443 00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:50,440 CHORUS: I have three balls, and I'm about to die. 444 00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:52,400 LAUGHTER 445 00:29:11,360 --> 00:29:13,800 -I'm gonna wear this dress today. 446 00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:18,480 It will protect me from everything bad, like it protects this house. 447 00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:23,720 It's a special dress. And today is is a special day. It's a beautiful day. 448 00:29:26,200 --> 00:29:28,240 -You look great. -Thank you. 449 00:29:29,520 --> 00:29:33,280 -Are you going somewhere? -I'm going to a wedding today. 450 00:29:33,280 --> 00:29:35,600 And this time, I'm getting out of the house. 451 00:29:35,600 --> 00:29:39,160 Do you have any idea how happy it is to play a wedding 452 00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:41,800 on such a beautiful sunny day. 453 00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:45,640 -The sun is a huge ball of fire, 454 00:29:45,640 --> 00:29:48,840 which at any moment could fall out of the sky. 455 00:29:50,240 --> 00:30:00,720 FAST-PACED MUSIC 456 00:30:03,480 --> 00:30:05,440 -Vitek, chew your lard. It's free. 457 00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:09,000 -Now, now. -Oh, I can't look at you. Here. 458 00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:12,880 Have a drink for courage. At least it's a fake wedding, 459 00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:16,640 or you'd be shitting yourself. The groom. (whispers): Mom, our groom is about to run away. 460 00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:17,680 LAUGHTER 461 00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:19,640 -Where's he gonna run off to? -Where's he gonna run off to? -It won't. 462 00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:22,360 We cuffed him to the radiator handcuffed, and that's it. 463 00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:23,360 -Yeah. 464 00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:26,120 -I can't. Oksana Drona in handcuffs will see, 465 00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:28,560 and they'll have their wedding night the wedding night begins. 466 00:30:30,960 --> 00:30:32,480 -And Vitek drinks wine. 467 00:30:32,480 --> 00:30:34,320 -Vitek, come on, man. 468 00:30:34,840 --> 00:30:38,000 We don't have enough! -You snitch! 469 00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:40,320 -Alcash! -It's hereditary. 470 00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:45,600 -What an exhaust. 471 00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:48,960 -Why are you wearing a suit? -They're gonna throw up. 472 00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:50,920 What are you wearing to the prom? 473 00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:53,200 -So I'll sit away from you. 474 00:30:59,280 --> 00:31:02,120 -Hi. -Hi. 475 00:31:02,120 --> 00:31:04,960 -It's a nice dress. It looks good on you. 476 00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:07,760 -Thank you. What are you doing without a suit? 477 00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:12,120 -Ah, me? Yeah, I'm on duty later, so... 478 00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:13,880 -Well, too bad. 479 00:31:13,880 --> 00:31:17,120 -Katya, come here! -I'm coming! -I'm sorry. I'm coming, I'm coming! 480 00:31:17,120 --> 00:31:20,680 -You know, women like men in suits. 481 00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:24,240 -Drone! Drone! 482 00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:25,240 -Yes. 483 00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:29,720 -Are you sure there won't be a ransom? -Well, Mom, we're not in the country. 484 00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:34,320 -Oh, everyone's so urban. Donya, come out for free. 485 00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:36,600 THE CLICK OF A TAPE RECORDER. 486 00:31:36,600 --> 00:31:49,240 WEDDING MARCH 487 00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:50,880 SWIST 488 00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:53,680 APPLAUSE 489 00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:55,400 -My coffee and milk. 490 00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:01,320 APPLAUSE 491 00:32:01,320 --> 00:32:03,400 -Bitter! Bitter! 492 00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:08,480 -one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine... 493 00:32:09,320 --> 00:32:22,440 MUSIC PLAYING 494 00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:24,360 NERVOUS GROANING 495 00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:35,880 -Well, sailor, did you get to say goodbye to everyone to say goodbye to everyone? 496 00:32:50,680 --> 00:32:54,280 Relax. Result of the biopsy was negative. 497 00:32:54,280 --> 00:32:58,320 -Thank God. Then I won't die. 498 00:32:58,320 --> 00:33:03,520 -You'll die, but of cirrhosis. Your liver's doubled in size. 499 00:33:03,520 --> 00:33:09,240 -It's stress. I'm fighting it so hard, that no liver can handle it. 500 00:33:09,240 --> 00:33:12,840 All right, thank you. Have a good one, baby. 501 00:33:14,080 --> 00:33:16,840 -Jerk. 502 00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:23,800 That's the wisecracker. 503 00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:31,680 -Mom, I'm going. 504 00:33:31,680 --> 00:33:33,040 -I'm with you. 505 00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:38,600 -Are you sure? 506 00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:43,120 -Of course. I got you a present, too. 507 00:33:43,120 --> 00:33:52,280 Okay. Got my purse. Phone's in it. Pills, too, just in case. 508 00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:54,520 That's it. I'm ready. 509 00:33:56,320 --> 00:33:57,520 So... 510 00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:09,840 DRUM ROLL 511 00:34:10,520 --> 00:34:13,440 -Mom, I'll get you a piece of cake. 512 00:34:27,080 --> 00:34:28,720 -Yes, thank you. 513 00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:34,360 Because I have so much to do at home. so much to do at home. 514 00:34:48,080 --> 00:34:50,600 -No ransom, no witnesses. 515 00:34:50,720 --> 00:34:54,880 -No flowers for Lenin. Maybe there won't be any cake, either. 516 00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:58,520 -So, there's gonna be a cake. -Oh, I don't know what kind of wedding! 517 00:34:58,640 --> 00:35:00,800 -Moscow! -Foolish! 518 00:35:00,920 --> 00:35:05,800 -That's it, Vityok! Don't grab it from the table. Come on, get out of here! 519 00:35:05,800 --> 00:35:09,640 What are you gonna do, wear a suit to the service in a suit? 520 00:35:09,640 --> 00:35:12,520 -Yeah, I made the switch. 521 00:35:12,720 --> 00:35:15,800 -I see. I'm sorry, I have to make a call. 522 00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:24,760 -I don't get it at all, what the fuck I'm getting married for, 523 00:35:24,760 --> 00:35:27,000 if everyone's fighting afterwards anyway. 524 00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:29,040 -And here I am! 525 00:35:31,160 --> 00:35:33,120 -You were supposed to be at 3:00! 526 00:35:33,240 --> 00:35:36,800 -Four o'clock will be fine, too! -You're drunk! 527 00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:40,240 -Children weren't very good at communicating. 528 00:35:40,240 --> 00:35:42,480 Oh, boy, you want a spear? 529 00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:46,800 -Wow, wow! -Oh, this one's a contact. 530 00:35:46,800 --> 00:35:49,440 And the governor's are majors. 531 00:35:49,600 --> 00:35:52,320 -Oksana, there won't be a signing, either? 532 00:35:52,600 --> 00:35:56,840 -Mama, it's gonna happen! Third call and let's go. 533 00:35:56,840 --> 00:35:58,040 Where are the young ones? 534 00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:05,640 The bride and groom! 535 00:36:08,760 --> 00:36:11,640 Love is a big 536 00:36:13,840 --> 00:36:17,040 a treasure bestowed upon man. 537 00:36:17,440 --> 00:36:21,840 Cupid pierced the hearts of young men with his arrow for a reason. 538 00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:26,160 Life, it's like an hourglass. 539 00:36:26,680 --> 00:36:27,680 -I agree. 540 00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:28,840 -Yes. 541 00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:31,160 -Cool! By the power vested in... 542 00:36:31,360 --> 00:36:32,880 FALLEN BODY 543 00:36:33,560 --> 00:36:34,560 -Butt! 544 00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:35,920 -Moscow? 545 00:36:37,960 --> 00:36:39,480 -Almost got it. 546 00:36:39,640 --> 00:36:42,200 -I now pronounce you man and wife. Suck it! 547 00:36:42,360 --> 00:36:44,880 And I get a ticket for being late. 548 00:36:48,040 --> 00:36:49,040 What, bitter! 549 00:36:49,520 --> 00:36:50,520 -Bitter! 550 00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:52,040 One... 551 00:36:52,280 --> 00:36:53,280 two... 552 00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:54,480 ...three... 553 00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:55,680 ...four... 554 00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:56,800 ...five! 555 00:36:57,680 --> 00:36:58,680 -Pinch! 556 00:36:59,560 --> 00:37:26,680 ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYS 557 00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:29,720 CHORUS -Bitter! Bitter! 558 00:37:33,240 --> 00:37:35,920 SINGING: I remember when I was ten years old 559 00:37:37,120 --> 00:37:39,520 And I was saving up for a new bike. 560 00:37:40,040 --> 00:37:41,960 I've been living this dream, 561 00:37:42,520 --> 00:37:45,600 Until one day I ran into with you. 562 00:37:46,680 --> 00:37:48,280 You've got me all charmed, 563 00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:51,640 I offered to take you for a walk. 564 00:37:53,360 --> 00:37:55,600 I'd take the piggy bank and smash it, 565 00:37:56,200 --> 00:37:58,520 And I took you to the recreation park. 566 00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:01,920 Hali hali a paratrooper 567 00:38:03,120 --> 00:38:05,040 You and I had a great time. 568 00:38:06,600 --> 00:38:08,520 Super eight, hali-gali. 569 00:38:09,480 --> 00:38:11,800 You and I have been flying all day. 570 00:38:14,040 --> 00:38:15,040 -Where are you! 571 00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:21,840 -Katya, have you gone sour? 572 00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:23,400 Why aren't you dancing? 573 00:38:23,680 --> 00:38:27,400 -Oxie, I'm sorry, it looks like we're not gonna have to have the cake. You know what I mean? 574 00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:29,440 Dan's missing again. 575 00:38:29,560 --> 00:38:32,680 -Sister-in-law, you know what our problem? 576 00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:35,400 We women are always picking the bad guys. 577 00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:38,360 -one less free bad guy one less. 578 00:38:38,360 --> 00:38:39,800 Come on, Xue. Let's go. 579 00:38:44,120 --> 00:38:45,120 -You think about it. 580 00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:52,360 It doesn't blow your mind, of course. But he's close by. 581 00:38:55,400 --> 00:38:57,320 -Ksia, let's go dancing. 582 00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:22,200 RHYTHMIC MUSIC 583 00:39:23,720 --> 00:39:27,640 -the bride wears a white dress. a symbol of purity. 584 00:39:29,040 --> 00:39:32,960 The last virgin to get married married in Mamonovo, 585 00:39:32,960 --> 00:39:34,560 it was my great-grandmother. 586 00:39:36,240 --> 00:39:41,000 -Oksana looks just like Daddy. Pretty, slim, dark hair. 587 00:39:42,240 --> 00:39:44,840 -Well, I'm all for friendship of nations. 588 00:39:45,520 --> 00:39:47,120 -He also wasn't drinking. 589 00:39:47,280 --> 00:39:49,880 -But! -Everybody has their faults. 590 00:39:49,960 --> 00:39:51,480 But we're not like that. 591 00:39:52,960 --> 00:39:53,960 SWIST 592 00:39:55,120 --> 00:39:57,920 HEY! Guys! Hold on a second! 593 00:39:58,720 --> 00:40:00,120 I have a toast! 594 00:40:04,960 --> 00:40:09,640 We all have to admit that everything good things have a couple. 595 00:40:10,200 --> 00:40:13,680 It's like an angel with wings, socks, testicles. 596 00:40:14,720 --> 00:40:17,760 Yeah, yeah, testicles. All men have two testicles. 597 00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:21,160 And I have three. 598 00:40:23,440 --> 00:40:25,840 Three healthy, normal eggs. 599 00:40:25,960 --> 00:40:28,280 -Handsome! -Thanks, bro. 600 00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:33,840 Anyway, Oksana, Drone, right now. there's two of you. I want to make it three. 601 00:40:33,960 --> 00:40:35,280 -That's a beautiful thing to say. 602 00:40:41,680 --> 00:40:45,360 -Maman, why are you sitting? Come on, let's dance! 603 00:40:46,280 --> 00:40:49,120 -Don't say goodbye. I'll be waiting here. 604 00:40:50,280 --> 00:40:57,000 RHYTHMIC MUSIC 605 00:40:59,280 --> 00:41:13,440 SOFT MUSIC 606 00:41:14,440 --> 00:41:19,120 -How about some champagne? -Yeah? -Yeah? -I'd like that. 607 00:41:19,240 --> 00:41:21,160 -I'll get it. -Come on. 608 00:41:34,080 --> 00:41:35,080 You're late! 609 00:41:35,320 --> 00:41:37,000 -But I made it to the cake. 610 00:41:50,760 --> 00:41:53,000 -It's all so much like a fairy tale! 611 00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:56,520 Can you imagine, she was a real princess. 612 00:41:57,320 --> 00:42:02,120 -Yeah, only then her husband cheated on her, they got got divorced, and then she died. 613 00:42:02,120 --> 00:42:05,360 in a car accident. So much for the happy ending. 614 00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:15,160 -Goat! 615 00:42:17,320 --> 00:42:20,160 -Vitek, Chris, let's get it together! 616 00:42:20,240 --> 00:42:23,400 I told who! -Come on, come on, work. 617 00:42:24,160 --> 00:42:27,400 -grew me, raised me, and now in the wrong hands. 618 00:42:27,480 --> 00:42:30,920 -Is it okay that when I was 13 years old. moved to Moscow? 619 00:42:31,040 --> 00:42:32,440 -It's still pathetic. 620 00:42:32,600 --> 00:42:34,920 -Girls, shall we go see the fireworks? 621 00:42:35,080 --> 00:42:37,880 It looks like there's a wedding next door they're letting in. 622 00:42:37,960 --> 00:42:41,240 -Oh, salute. Salute! -Mum. Aren't you forgetting something? 623 00:42:42,040 --> 00:42:45,280 -Yeah, Mom, when are you gonna get the house ♪ when are you gonna give it to me? ♪ 624 00:42:45,440 --> 00:42:48,760 -Maybe tomorrow, huh? -How about today, Mom? 625 00:43:04,120 --> 00:43:05,120 -Oh... 626 00:43:05,280 --> 00:43:06,600 There's no envelope... 627 00:43:06,800 --> 00:43:07,800 -How not? 628 00:43:07,960 --> 00:43:08,960 Was it stolen? 629 00:43:09,760 --> 00:43:11,080 -Ow! -The house was stolen! 630 00:43:11,360 --> 00:43:14,160 -Ow! -So, let's just take it easy. 631 00:43:14,320 --> 00:43:17,000 Where was the last place you saw him? 632 00:43:20,160 --> 00:43:24,360 -Well... well, I've been sitting here. Well, there's this one, 633 00:43:24,360 --> 00:43:26,000 with three eggs. 634 00:43:26,160 --> 00:43:27,680 -Gosha, man. Gosha! 635 00:43:27,800 --> 00:43:30,040 -What happened? -The envelope! 636 00:43:30,160 --> 00:43:34,200 -Gosha, I'll stake you! -Wait, what envelope, Gal? 637 00:43:36,800 --> 00:43:37,800 -Gosha! Gosha! 638 00:43:39,680 --> 00:43:40,840 Stop, you bastard! 639 00:43:45,600 --> 00:43:47,280 -Gosha, open the door! 640 00:43:47,400 --> 00:43:49,080 -Get the house back, you bastard! 641 00:43:52,720 --> 00:43:54,120 -I'll get you now...! 642 00:43:54,440 --> 00:43:58,200 -Get it, get it, get it, get it. I didn't steal the bride. 643 00:44:02,080 --> 00:44:03,480 -Where's the money, bitch? 644 00:44:03,600 --> 00:44:08,360 -I didn't even open it! -Calm down! That's how much was in there! 645 00:44:10,080 --> 00:44:12,040 -Don't you get it? -What do you mean? 646 00:44:14,080 --> 00:44:17,280 -You mean there won't be a house? Why would you... did you set this up? 647 00:44:17,320 --> 00:44:21,160 -And you wanted to beat my daughter and take off like her daddy did? 648 00:44:21,160 --> 00:44:25,680 There was no present from my dad. I don't even know where that monkey is. 649 00:44:25,680 --> 00:44:28,040 I hope he got eaten by crocodiles. 650 00:44:28,040 --> 00:44:30,960 -Well, Mommy, I didn't expect this from you. I didn't expect this from you. 651 00:44:30,960 --> 00:44:33,840 -Great! You guys are even getting married a fake wedding! 652 00:44:33,960 --> 00:44:35,560 -Gal! -Is that fake? 653 00:44:35,560 --> 00:44:37,080 Give us back our presents! 654 00:44:37,200 --> 00:44:40,280 -You didn't give me anything at all. -What about joy? 655 00:44:40,280 --> 00:44:42,080 -Fucking bogus! 656 00:44:42,080 --> 00:44:44,960 We spent a lot of money for you, Mommy! 657 00:44:45,120 --> 00:44:47,280 -What's this about her? -Yeah! 658 00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:49,280 EVERYONE'S TALKING LOUDLY 659 00:44:49,560 --> 00:44:50,680 -Good! 660 00:44:52,600 --> 00:44:55,440 All right! The wedding was real! 661 00:44:56,440 --> 00:44:57,440 -What? 662 00:44:58,400 --> 00:45:00,400 -The wedding was real. 663 00:45:00,520 --> 00:45:04,680 And Xiu may not have my last name yet, but she is my wife, 664 00:45:04,680 --> 00:45:07,200 and we'll have a real family. 665 00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:11,720 Well, we'll earn money for the house somehow. 666 00:45:12,080 --> 00:45:14,840 -That's right! I even know how, by the way. 667 00:45:16,520 --> 00:45:19,520 -Son! -The wedding continues. 668 00:45:19,520 --> 00:45:20,960 It goes on! 669 00:45:21,120 --> 00:45:24,200 -Get the glasses! -Hooray! Ksyushka is married! 670 00:45:24,240 --> 00:45:26,720 -Son, go get some vodka. Where are you, sonny? 671 00:45:26,720 --> 00:45:28,480 Where have you been running around pointlessly? 672 00:45:46,680 --> 00:45:47,680 -And who are you? 673 00:45:49,280 --> 00:45:50,280 -Yura. 674 00:45:51,680 --> 00:45:52,680 -Yura... 675 00:45:56,240 --> 00:45:59,320 SINGING -How many times has the summer dawn bloomed. 676 00:46:00,880 --> 00:46:03,560 How many times has spring come for nothing. 677 00:46:06,240 --> 00:46:08,920 In the stars outside the window the evenings floated by, 678 00:46:12,480 --> 00:46:14,720 And you didn't come until the day before yesterday. 679 00:46:15,880 --> 00:46:18,800 Subtitle Editor: А. Semkin, V. Sukhiashvili